Sat 24 Aug 2001

West Ham 0 Leeds 0

It was too hot for football, in fact it was too hot for anything.

Having spent the first 15 minutes of the game outside the ground as we
tried to squeeze 1000 Leeds fans into 2 poxy turnstiles I was thoroughly
cheesed off. Plod smiled at our obvious inconvenience.

Upton Park is being redeveloped. The new stand - the Leeds fans reminded
the Cockneys that Rio's money had paid for it - is some distance from
the action. I then remembered that the Londoners are planning on turning
their pitch 90 degrees. So in terms of Elland Road their "Kop" will soon
become their "West Stand" - fab.

The game to put it mildly was atrocious. English football lacks
technical ability at the best of times but this is usually compensated
in the way of effort and endeavour. Because of the tropical conditions
the tempo was low and this matched the skill level.

From what I've seen so far this season Leeds will not win the league.
What I thought was a good squad was shown up for what it is when Alan
Maybury was the first substitute used by O'Leary. If he is our 11th best
outfield player then the Pope is a Chinaman. Wee Chan Paul II.

Gary Kelly, Jason Wilcox, the wonderful Stephen McPhail. What have these
guys done to slip below Maybury in the pecking order ?

Maybury has been plagued by injuries over the years but I feel he'd be
better suited regaining his confidence in the reserves rather than
trying to make an impact in the last 20 minutes of a Premier League
game.

Oh and from what I've seen of him in the reserves I dont think he'll
ever be good enough for the 1st team. Time will tell.

Leeds only had themselves to blame in this game. Man for Man we are
streets ahead of West Ham. However trying to get a Leeds player to pass
to a man in the same coloured shirt was becoming a problem. Unless, that
is, the Leeds players were trying to pass to Leeds shirts in the crowd -
well in that case they were doing a reasonable job.

To West Ham's credit they closed Leeds down effectively and denied any
of our midfield "Fab Four" space and time. When the ball reached Keane
he looked over eager and persistently ran into trouble. Viduka, a man
you'd expect to relish the heat, had the presence of a grape.

We sorely missed Smithy's brash approach. Keane looks vastly over priced
at 12 million. His pace seems to have deserted him and time and again
Song glided past him and nudged the Irish leprechaun effortlessly aside.
Viduka looked on, unmoved from his shady spot.

Di Canio and Cole displayed the only real skill on show. The Italian's
control was breathtaking and it was more by luck than judgement that
Mills kept him at bay. Joe Cole was the only man with the spark and
initiative to run with the ball through the middle. Eventually though,
like Keane, he ran into the inevitable brick wall.

Kewell was an enigma. If enigma means half-hearted, poncey, pussyfooted,
lazy arsed bastard then Kewell was indeed an enigma. He has more talent
than the whole Leeds team put together but he has the attitude now that
he believes he is untouchable. Any opponent that brushes past him he
stops and pleads to the referee for some sympathy.

Thank god he never has had to play ale house Sunday league football. I'm
sure Maybury will tell him all about it in a couple of years time.

Half chances were being created by both sides - Viduka and Bowyer for
Leeds, Cole, Di Canio and Carrick for West Ham.

Keane glided past 3 men and dithered. The ball ran agonisingly out.
Kewell escaped down the left but his chip was headed tamely at the
keeper. Why didn't he roll it across ? The heat was affecting us all.

Leeds lacked width. Bowyer was running around like a chicken being
pursued by the KFC Colonel. If he's supposed to be on the right why
doesn't he stay there ? The shape was poor and Kewell's apathy on the
left meant us ploughing a fruitless track through the packed middle. So
much for Brian Kidd's tactical genius.

West Ham seemed surprised how bad Leeds were and they eventually
realised they could easily take all three points from their supposed
superior opposition.

Todorov broke free but couldn't finish. Cole scored following a foul on
Martyn that looked innocuous from where we were sat at the far end. I
was convinced the goal had been given. Kewell was then denied a chance 6
yards out as the ref accused him of fouling Hisplop but it had clearly
been the West Ham player that had impeded his own keeper.

A draw was a fair result. Two mediocre sides, low on energy and low on
skill.

The sun still burned brightly and my thoughts went out to Norman Hunter
whom I had bumped into before the game at Kings Cross tube station. On
the most humid day I can remember there was big Norm in his full woollen
suit sweating his proverbials off. I remarked that a man of his stature
should be chauffeur driven around town rather than slumming it with the
perspiring masses.

He smiled nervously and disappeared down an eastbound platform.

Scores

Martyn 6.5 - Some neat handling but crosses seemed a problem
Mills 7 - somehow managed to stop Di Canio running riot. Only just
though.
Harte 5 - Oh dear.
Ferdinand 7 - Solid enough but Todorov is not much cop
Matteo 7 - Strong and assured.
Bowyer 5 - firing blanks at the moment.
Batty 7 - Kept it simple but offered no penetration (oooerrrr!)
Dacourt 7.5 - our only spark in the middle.
Kewell 5.5 - a big cry baby. I thought Aussie's are supposed to be tough
Viduka 5 - Abysmal
Keane 6 - Didn't look fit to me. Looked small and insignificant

subs/
Maybury 4 not ready for this league yet.
Woody - only on for a few mins.

Man of Match : Olly Dacourt
stotty

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