Leeds 2 v Saints 0
(Kewell 10,
 Keane 72)

After the euphoric highs of Wednesday night it was always going to be a
fall back down to earth today. It was just a matter of how big the bump
would be.

In the end things were pretty comfortable but at 1-0 with less than 25
minutes remaining Matteo dithered and left a through ball for Martyn,
who was handcuffed to his post. Petrescu appeared with the ball from
this confused mess, and shot what was a certain equaliser.... but
Martyn, with lightening reflexes pushed the ball away with his free
hand. Phew!

Matteo, who had been a rock, suddenly looked like Bez on his pay day.
Southampton saw a chink of light.

Big Dom took a final, defiant toke on his rollie and Leeds prepared to
baton down the hatches for the expected, and highly belated, Saints
onslaught. Here we go - we thought.

It didn't matter though as straight away the lively, but seemingly
luckless Keane, latched onto a long looping ball and lobbed the
onlooking Jones. It was Saints' turn for their defence to copy Bez
Matteo's "Freaky Dancing"

2-0.

There was still time for both Keane and Wilcox to go close and
Southampton had the ball in the net but it was ruled out for offside
(wrongly)

It had started wonderfully well for Leeds, they began where they'd left
off against Deportivo La Weakestlinkio. Batty was felled in the box in
the opening minutes but fat fcker Jeff "What's a diet ?" Winters & his
myopic assistant Schnorbitz deemed that Batty had dived. How ridiculous.

Moments later the same linesman annoyed the crowd further with another
bizarre decision. In the aftermath the ball was returned from the Kop
straight onto the back of the unsuspecting official's crust. We pissed
ourselves laughing. He was unsure whether or not to take a dive and milk
it. The rattle of loose change in the Kop's pockets persuaded him not
to.

Brian Kidd jumped up and down like a jack-in-a-box. Every ball that went
into touch he legged after it like an over eager ball boy. He strikes me
as an excellent man to have around.

Leeds swarmed all over Southampton. Bowyer's and Keane's persistence on
the right allowed the ball to fall to Kewell and his 20 yard drive
skidded past the bemused Jones. Harry's first goal of the season but a
massively important one nonetheless.

For another 20 mins Leeds knocked it about and Southampton couldn't even
see the shadows they were supposed to be chasing.

Southampton are a big, rag bag of a team and they slowly nudged their
way back into the game. Fortunately in Kevin Davies they possess the
biggest pile of dog log imaginable. He couldn't hit the sea from a boat,
and most of the visitor's attacks petered out harmlessly.

Before the break Harry had a wonderful chance to double his season
tally. Keane deliciously sprung the offiside trap for the Aussie
prodigy, but by the time Harry had stopped fannying about doing his
makeup, the whole of the defence had got back and constructed a brick
wall infront of the goal. A corner was pitiful reward for a wonderful
build up.

Leeds attacked the South Stand 2nd half but despite being the better
side didn't reach the dizzy heights of Wednesday night. Hardly
surprising.

Kewell should have had a penalty after Dodd hand-balled but Big Jeff
Winter's was too busy eyeing up Viduka's pastie.

Leeds continued to play some neat football and at times over elaborated
but the 2nd goal to kill the game off wasn't forthcoming.

Bakke struggled, Kewell ran out of gas, and Viduka wilted in the West
Yorkshire heat. Southampton had their unlikely chance to snatch
something from the game but we held on to take 3 valuable points to end
an unforgettable week.

Sorry Mr.Winters but not even your cheating fat bloated yellow belly was
going to spoil it for us.

Jeff Winters - you are like a reeking fart - loved by nobody, except
yourself.

Scores
--------
Martyn 7 Made 1 world class save to keep it to 1-0 otherwise nack all to
do.

Mills 8 Strong defence, always willing if not always able in attack.

Harte 6 Saints took 75mins to cotton on that Harte is indeed a snail.
Set up Keane for the winner with his long punt.

BEZ(Matteo) 7 Like a dog poo - mainly solid but likely to snap if
pressure is applied.

Rio 7 Good in the air, passing was shocking at times.

Bowyer 8 Ran&Ran&Ran-just like his court case.

Batty 8 Did the job of 2 men. Superb

Bakke 5 Plop.

Kewell 7 Scored a cracker but missed a bagful.

Keane 7.5 Sealed the points, worked very hard.

Viduka 6 Started as if his pie's life depended on it but ran out of
steam(ed puddings) after the break , needed a rest.

Subs/
Wilcox 6 Didn't see that much of the ball but did OK.

Not used:
Ollie(should have been used in the last third when we had tired.)

Smiffy (Is the bench too small for Viduka's arse?

Robbo,Kelly

Conditions:- pissed it down all day.

Ref:- Fat and crap.

--
stotty

http://www.astott.demon.co.uk

(LUFC match reports, cartoons, and Flash movies)