Its not easy watching a game live and also listening to another 2
matches on the radio at the same time, whilst juggling a balti pie and a
mobile phone.

In the 1st half at The Valley, Radio 5 informed me that Charlton were
battering Liverpool. The way it was going it seemed to me that Liverpool
would be lucky to get even a point out of their game.

Leeds needed a goal to push themselves into the gold encrusted 3rd place
spot. 3rd is no longer bronze. Its all gold-gold-gold.

After 20 minutes of Leeds pressure the crucial goal arrived. Leicester's
Marshall slipped, Kewell nipped in and fired low and hard to Smith at
the far post. Smith, fearless as ever slid in with the defender and
keeper and forced the ball home. This was the sort of challenge that
could end one's own career. Smith didn't think twice.

Thankfully both Smiffy and Flowers eventually got up, miraculously
unscathed.

Leeds were in 3rd spot. The crowd rejoiced.

It was short lived.

Harte received a bang on the head and whilst he was being treated
Leicester broke down our left. Kewell stood off and ushered them through
like a car park attendant and the resulting deep cross was headed
against the bar, and then off Rio's shin and into the net.

Well I never.

Leeds were back into 4th and they stayed there for the rest of the
afternoon. Ipswich must have seen a glimmer of hope but they conceded at
Derby and left them stranded in 5th.

Leeds continued to totally dominate the game and only the persistence of
Robbie Savage held Leeds back.

Hate him or despise him Robbie Savage is a bloody handful. Yes he does
have stupid girlie hair and is at times a dirty, horrible man but we
could do worse than signing someone like him for cover in the middle.

Savage doesn't take 2 bottles into the shower - he takes about 8.
Shampoo, Conditioner, Shampoo with added conditioner, Shampoo with beer,
Conditioner with mint extract, Shampoo with glitter and pink shiny
things, some meths and a bottle of peroxide shandy. The nancy.

"SAVAGE IS SHIT" repeated the KOP, "and so's his hairdresser" I added
with a flourish. It got a few laughs around me. The truth is Savage
isn't shit. He's actually quite good and was Leicester's best player by
far in a team of faceless journeymen. Matty Jones was rarely noticed.

Dacourt and Savage kicked lumps out of each other all day. It was fun to
watch the contrasting styles. Of hair of course.

Leicester survived to the break only by a superb save from Flowers as he
tipped a Viduka shot onto the post following a flowing 4 man Leeds move.
As the pressure mounted Viduka was caught by a stray foot in the box
(ouch!) but the referee strangely ignored it.

Half time, Leeds drawing, Liverpool drawing, Ipswich losing. Still all
to play for.

The 2nd half was ALL Leeds again. Kewell peppered the Kop with shots
that should have made Flowers work a bit harder. Dacourt with his
sleeves rolled up decided to get Leeds a goal. He twisted and turned
(like a 60s bopper) and from the byline picked out Viduka at the far
post. The Big Oz rose well and nodded crisply against the bar. No luck
as usual.

Liverpool were soon 2 goals up at Charlton and it was game over
regarding the Champions League's licence to print money.

I turned the radio off and could now enjoy some superb Leeds play.

Dacourt curled a 20 yarder against the bar. Leicester fans sensing they
were spoiling our party raised their voices. They even sung the
Liverpool anthem "You'll Never Walk Alone" to taunt us.

I wanted to win this one just to shut those midland nomarks up.

Dacourt hobbled off and a rejuvenated Wilcox replaced him. Kewell
switched to the right and Bowyer moved inside.

Bowyer was tremendous once he'd moved into Ollie's central role. Sod
Savage, we've got just the man to play in the centre if Ollie or Batty
are out. All we need is some bugger on the right to take Bowyer's place.
(no not Alan Maybury).

Bakke had a great game for Leeds and Mills began to advance to make the
extra man. The passing and movement were excellent against a very deep
and negative Leicester defence. Earlier in the season we struggled to
make chances against such rearguard actions.

The goal soon came. David Ellary, never a favourite at Leeds, gave Mills
a free kick 28 yards out for obstruction (but instead of an indirect
kick gave a direct one).

As Harte lined it up a Leicester player stood a yard away behind Him (I
use a capital H for Him as Harte is indeed a God when it comes to free
kicks) to help Flowers line the wall. He refused to move and for once
this particular referee gave Leeds a break and moved the ball forward 10
yards as a punishment to the encroaching Leicester defence.

The Leicester wall looked massive. I said the famous words "There is no
way he can get it past THAT lot".

From the right hand edge of the box, Harte dabbed the ball over the wall
and into the top corner. Flowers was playing his own version of
"statues" but with no music.

Harte celebrated wildly but the eye was drawn to a pitch invader who
with physique similar to Viduka's displayed a surprising amount of pace
and his swerving run eluded most of the stewards twice each. The Leeds
players looked at Viduka as if to say "see ! it is possible you fat
b@stard"

The daft twat will now be banned from Elland Road for a good while - the
pitch invader - not Viduka.

Leicester threatened briefly for the 1st time in an hour and Bakke
cleared off a crowded goal line.

As the game drew to a close and Liverpool were 4 nil up the season ended
on a mini-high for Leeds as Viduka played Smith through and one-on-one
with Flowers, the young hero/villain/foul mouthed/golden boy/impetuous/c
ommitted/thug/genius* (* - delete depending on how inappropriately the
press currently regard Smiffy) tucked the ball effortlessly home.

Smith's contorted face growled at the Kop and he kissed the Leeds badge
on his shirt. His full lips glistening in the mid afternoon sun.

The boy is a good 'un.

Not even the streaker at the end of the game could knock Smiffy from
centre stage.

Well - he did actually !

Dressed only in a retro-style Leeds shirt and a smile , the streaker
made a charge towards Viduka. I've never seen the Aussie Pie Monster
move so quick, who not surprising, didn't want some strange bloke's
tackle rubbed up against him. Last day of the season, or not !

With a feeling of rejection from his heros the streaker swept towards
the Lowfields in all his glory.

The crowd roared as his bollocks bounced around the pitch and as before
the stewards struggled to get to grips with him. It took a good tackle
to bring his run, and season ticket, to an end.

Alan Smith ? who's he again ?

Scores
--------
Martyn - 6 - Nowt to do, except pick the ball out of the net.

Mills - 8 - sound defending and provided good width coming forward. Most
improved player by far.

Harte - 8 - What can you say about this guy ? His freekicks are second
to none and cant be blamed for the goal as he was off the pitch injured
at the time.

Matteo - 7 - did what little he needed to do well enough.

Rio - 7.5 As above but with a couple of body swerves to start some
moves.

Bowyer - 9 - carried the ball very well in the midfield minefield.
Excelled in the centre when Dacourt went off.

Bakke - 8 - superb effort from the lanky Noggie. Got stuck in and ran at
the Leicester defence well.

Ollie - 9 - Give this man a 10 year contract. Has more influence than
Nelson Mandella. Had the mother of all battles with Lilly Savage and
won.

Kewell - 8 He IS THE Daddy. Looked very sharp. Poofy defending for their
goal though.

Smith- 9 - Deserves an England call on endeavour alone. The fact he
scored one of the bravest goals you could imagine and closed the final
minute of the season with a peach is a bonus.

Viduka - 7 - Tried his tricks and flicks without too much luck, and his
lack of pace was forgotten as he flicked the ball superbly on for
Smith's last gasp 2nd.

Subs/

Wilcox - had a great 15 minutes on the left, Kewell switched right, and
Leeds attacked from every angle available.

Leeds finished the season in the position that their squad merited. 4th
place behind 3 very, very good squads. Not teams, squads.

We'll done boys, we'll support you ever more.

--
stotty

http://www.astott.demon.co.uk

(LUFC match reports, cartoons, and Flash movies)