Leeds 1 Ipswich 2



The scoreline has a familiar ring about it, especially against promoted
teams.


70 mins gone...Ipswich lead 2-1, Leeds have run out of ideas, and their
passing has gone all over the shop..

Eddie Gray : Boss ! Shall we bring Jonesey on for the last 20 and try
and grab the midfield and play with a bit more width ?

O'Leary : Sausage and Mash...

Eddie : eh ?

O'Leary : For my tea...Sausage and Mash...

Eddie : what about making a change Boss ?

O'Leary : I love potatoes me. I was brought up on them. My old Ma back
home had eleven little babies and we all ate potatoes....now i've got my
own 11 little babies...

Eddie : DAVID ! the crowd are restless we need to do something NOW ! Oh
Brother !

O'Leary : Aye...Poor Anna bless her...good Irish girl...that
Craig...never like Scousers me...they dont eat enough spuds....

Eddie (turns to Roy Aitken) : Roy ! something's wrong....

Roy : I think I know.

Roy Aitken goes up to the wittering O'Leary and grabs his face. With one
huge tug Roy Aitken pulls off a mass of rubber and glue from O'Learys
face....revealing.....

Eddie + Roy : HOWARD WILKINSON !

Wilko : if it hadn't been for you peskey assistant managers I might have
gotten away with it.



Scores:

Martyn : 6     - has a bizarre and wanky penchant for punching now. 
Kelly  : 3     - uncle wank
Harte  : 6     - quite wankish nephew
Duberry : 5    - get away driver wanky
Mills   : 5    - bald and wank
Bowyer  : 7.5  - energetic wank
Dacourt : 6.5  - too much responsibility wank
MacFrail : 1   - big wanky trotting dog poo wank
Smith    : 6   - put himself about like a wanker
Bridges  : 4   - wanking about up front
Huckerby : 5.5 - headless wanking

Subs : dont make me fcking wank ...i mean laugh !




-- 
stotty
www.astott.demon.co.uk