Leeds 2 v Everton 0


First home game of the new league season against a new-look Everton.
The players were greeted by the same old twat with the microphone....EVERTON ARE IN THE TUNNEL .....(wow !).....THE REFEREE HAS JUST COME OUT OF THE SHITHOUSE...(Oooooo).....HE'S SCRATCHING HIS ARSE IN THE TUNNEL AS I SPEAK....(Corrr !) ...LEEDS ARE IN THE TUNNEL...(gasp !).....SOMEBODY IS SHOVING A MICROPHONE UP MY AAAAARRRRRSSEE (cheers of approval)

What a c*nt !

Everton won the toss and forced us to attack the Kop.

Facking robbing Scouse bastards.


Line-Up


Martyn
   
Kelly
Radebe
Woody Harte    
Bakke
Dacourt
Bowyer      
Bridges
Viduka
Smith    
   
Subs : Mills,Huckerby


How did we play ?

Not bad. We are a bit too cavalier tactically for my liking but we scored the goals and kept a clean sheet.

The 4-3-3 system meant when we attacked we could isolate the Everton defenders and any time we got past them we troubled them. However, for long periods we were under the cosh as Everton out numbered us in the middle of the park. It was only the sheer hard work and tenacity of Messrs Dacourt, Bakke and Bowyer, coupled with a sound defence that stopped Everton running us ragged.

Everton despite their possession simply had no idea how to consistently carve out chances. Leeds on the other hand looked lively up front. Smith, Bridges and Viduka linked up well with a series of one-twos and little dummies. It was a slight shock when we took the lead with a header. After 20 mins, following a quick corner, Smith glanced in Bridges' cross from 8 yards out. Leeds were in business.

Last seaosn in the League I can only recall headed goals from Bridges (The Dell), Woody (Goodison), Harry (Newcastle @ home), Bowyer (Anfield). 2 already in the League + the one against Munich. Nice.

It could have been so different had the much travelled and much hated Mark Hughes dispatched a free volley from 12 yards out in the opening exchanges. Thankfully the silver haired scum fcker blazed it high into the South Stand were the Evertonians feasted on dead cats and rats.

Another Leeds corner and another goal. This time from the right. Bowyer's chip to the edge of the box was struck with immense power by the athletic Harte and only a superb reaction save from Gerrard prevented Goal of the Month. Much to the keeper's bemusement Everton's leaden-footed defence allowed Smith to react quickest and his blonde head nodded in his, and Leeds', second.

Everton had to respond, and they did. Nyarko, the former Lens' midfielder who Dacourt said was better than himself, showed his class. He was strong and skillful - it must have been some centre midfield last season for the French team. Everton lacked a cutting edge, nobody wanted to go that bit extra and get the goal, nobody seemed capable.

Half time came and the wankiest penalty competition ensued.

This is the year 2000 and still they persist with shite shite and more shite at half time. I dont know why they bother.

I tell you what i'd do....I'd get a pie on a bit of string and get a dog to chase after it. If it catches it, then it can eat the pie. To make it more exciting shove a load of curry powder in the pie so that the dog shits itself on the pitch. Where the dog log is dropped determines the winning ticket in the raffle.

Fucking simple when you apply a bit of creativity to it all.

GET YOUR HALF TIME DOG PLOP RAFFLE TICKETS !

If its a sloppy one there may have to be more than 1 winner.

Oh yeah....the 2nd half....

At 2 down Everton again had to set the tempo. Again the Leeds defence held firm. Radebe hardly put a foot wrong and Woody in his first game back for a while looked as composed and strong as ever. Hughes was withdrawn and soon Walter Smith cranked it up a gear by adding The Kebab Fiend Gascoigne and Lighthouse Ferguson to the game.

Gazza raised a hand to acknowledge the Kop's stunning observation that the Geordie boy's waist line was the approx size of the M25. Ferguson's head disappeared into the clouds and Everton's chances of getting a goal disappeared up their own arses.

Chances were few and far between. Gazza had a shot deflected wide and the lively but under used Jeffers saw his tame goalbound shot cleared easily off the line by the omnipresent Lucas "The Chief" Radebe.

As the clock ticked down Leeds took advantage of space at the back of Everton's defence and the spazmodic(sic) Huckerby delievered 2 delicious crosses that Viduka and Bowyer so nearly profited from. Hucks must have mis-hit them or something.

Smith was tripped inside the box but to no avail and then the young Leeds striker broke coolly into the box but shot harmelessly with his left when a deserved hatrick looked on. Big girl's blouse Bridges had earlier also wasted an angled chance after superb link play with his front men.

Gazza, taking a corner at the Kop end, received a mixture of genuine applause and more fattest chants - the smile on his face was a joy to behold.

Leeds were happy to enjoy it all and just sit back and save their energy for the huge task that awaits in Munich on Wednesday night.

Players Ratings and Comments

Martyn 6.5 Nothing too alarming to have to do.
Kelly 8 Had his best game for a long time. Came hurtling down the right wing on a few occasions.
Harte 7.5

Tidy - earned an assist for the 2nd goal. His free kicks with the new Nike ball were utter shite.

Radebe 9 A giant.
Woodgate 7 Gave very little away. Very composed on the ball. Twatted Hughes a few times. HURRAH !
Bowyer 6 Battled but his touch on the ball seems to have gone. Has little licence to roam in a midfield 3
Bakke 8 100% effort. Some nice skill too.
Dacourt 8.5 Had to do 2 mens work - and did so comfortably. The Black Batty.
Viduka 6.5 Quiet game but was physical and needed constant attention which Smithy took advantage of.
Bridges 5 Lacklustre and ineffectual
Smith 9 Proving every one wrong. Neat, tidy but also strong and determined. 2 instinctive headed goals.
Subs
Mills 7 Looked energetic and pacey
Huckerby 7 Facking 'ell - had he swallowed a curry pie at half time ???? Looked almost good.

 

Opposition

Played not too bad. Lacked a decent striker and a midfielder to assist Nyarko. Apart from that just a boring old collection of journeymen and fat knackers.

Impressed by Pistone's flowing hair and tidy game at left back.

Officials

Very good. Trip on Smith was a penalty and the ref fell for Hughes' usual antics - but otherwise did a sound job.

Conclusions

Leeds did their job in the 1st half and then asked the questions of Everton. The had no real answer.

Defence was solid, midfield was combative despite being a man short, attack showed depth, devil and deftness.

I still dont like 4-3-3 but against insipid teams like Everton we can get away with it.

Wednesday may see a different formation for a different occasion.

See you all in the Olympic Stadium, Munich.