If you spend all day lifting bags of coal then when you come to pick up
a bag of sugar it is easy.

When you've recently played against giants such as Deportivo, Arsenal
and Valencia, it is somewhat easier when you come up against Bradford
City.

On a stiflingly hot day in Leeds, the Bradford City ice cream defence
melted. No Wetherall or Molenaar but ex-white Gunner Halle did his best
to ensure that Leeds continued to snap at Liverpool's heels in the race
into the European Greed League.

The Bradford players were even fighting amongst themselves as the Leeds
goals rained in. Myers did what 40,000 Leeds fans have wanted to do for
15 years. He lamped Stuart McCall with a right hook which left the flame
haired terrier with a cut eye so bad that most boxing referees would
have stop the fight instantly. McCall also complained he had double
vision, it must have been bad enough chasing after the 11 men of Leeds,
rather than the 22 he now saw running rings around him and his team.

The referee took no action against Myers. Had he done it to a Leeds
player he would have been banned for 10 games. Strange.

Leeds ran Bradford ragged, 2 early goals from Viduka (a brave near post
header) and a Harte free kick special (from his unfavoured right hand
side) looked to have sealed it.

Bradford hit back immediately. Harte went AWOL, as a result Matteo got
drawn out of position and Ward swivelled neatly past Ferdinand to fire
home at the near post. Good goal.

Leeds fans temporarily stopped baiting their rivals.

A few minutes later Smith split the hapless Bantams' defence and Bakke
dinked the ball past the keeper with the outside of his foot. Shortly
after Mills charged down the right, dummied, and crossed to the far
post. Viduka rose like a salmon with a firework up its arse, nodded back
towards Smiffy who lashed the ball home. Far too easy.

The Leeds fans rubbed their hands and wondered when the video of this
game would hit the shops.

4-1 after 38 minutes !? Was this really happening ?

The icing on the 1st half cake was piped on as Kewell picked up a Martyn
clearance, juggled the ball, balanced it on his nose, swallowed it,
burped it up, ran past a mesmerised Ian Nolan and effortlessly clipped
the ball into the net. Bradford's keeper was sleep walking. It was a
nightmare for him indeed.

The bell for half time went with McCall and Bradford on the ropes. They
should have been counted out by the referee for their own good. Jim
Jefferies the City manager had the smelling salts ready.

It was a major surprise that Bradford re-appeared for the 2nd half, I
was expecting a towel.

To their credit Bradford reorganised well. McCall dropped back into a
sweeper role and Nolan was spared further embarrassment and was replaced
by Locke.

Leeds took their foot off the gas but still had numerous chances. Bowyer
was the main culprit and he had a rare off day. Viduka seemed to lose
the will to move and he stood like a Strongbow sponsored Ayres rock
(with a big belly) in the middle of the pitch. It was hot though.

Having not conceded another goal Bradford advanced with a spring in
their step with Eoin Jess running through the middle with ease. His
curling shot brought a full length save from Martyn and from the corner
the heavyweight Ward punched a header goalward but Martyn jabbed it
wide.

Bowyer missed a one on one but moments later he got the better of the
dreadful Wayne Jacobs and prodded home from 6 yards. Not even Bowyer on
his worst performance of the season was going to be denied.

That's how bad Bradford were. The Leeds fans loved it.

The piss taking was relentless. "Shall we score a goal for you ?",
"We're going to Europe, you're going to Rotherham", "We're Leeds and we
take the piss", "We'll never play you again..."

Its not the winning that matters, its the taking part. Bradford didn't
even do that.

The poor sods.

Scores
------

Martyn 8 - 3 great saves

Mills 8 - fcking brilliant

Harte 7 - 2 assists, 1 goal. Still a dreadful defender though.

Rio 7 - not very busy, allowed Ward a sight of goal for Bradford's
strike.

Matteo 7 - nice and steady

Bowyer 5 - dreadful by his standards

Dacourt 8.5 - didn't need to get out of 1st gear, still ran the show.
Looked knackered and came off for McFrail. Like for like (not !)

Bakke 8 - battled well and scored a cracker. Will boost his confidence
no end.

Kewell 7.5 - showed flashes of brilliance. His goal was a joy to behold.

Smith 7.5 - gave it everything, almost killed Halle at one point.

Viduka 5 - not sure what he was doing 2nd half but it looked like not
very much.

subs/

McFrail - oh fuck he's fit again.

strange no other bugger on the bench got a chance with it being so hot
and us being so far ahead.

--
stotty

http://www.astott.demon.co.uk

(LUFC match reports, cartoons, and Flash movies)