The margins are so fine in football.

The saying goes - "If 'If's and 'And's were pots and pans there'd be no
need for tinkers"

what IF Koller had scored into an unguarded net soon after we'd
equalised ? What IF Matteo had actually tried to do something ? What if
Bowyer's taxi had broken down on the M62 ? What if Martyn hadn't made
that smart save down to his left in injury time ? What IF Leeds had lost
? What IF Cantona had stayed ? What if there hadn't been any monkeys -
who would we have all descended from?

With 25 minutes to go Anderlecht pinched a goal. It was an excellent
goal too. Full of movement and skill. Martyn, along with his defenders,
stood and admired it. It was the sort of goal we used to score.

The obituaries were being written. Leeds had had a fair amount of the
play and created several half chances but it seemed like we just didn't
have enough in our locker to get the 2 goals we so desperately needed -
let alone one.

Leeds clawed their way back into the game - I dont know how but they
did. Anderlecht surprised me. They played like an English team. Strong,
high energy, high tempo football. I hoped Leeds would shellshock them -
but we didn't. In fact Anderlecht settled the quicker.

Koller should have scored early on as the ball rolled along the 6 yard
line but the tallest man since John Cleese missed the ball completely.

He buried his heads in the clouds in shame.

WHAT IF he had scored ?

Leeds gradually took control. It wasn't champagne football though - more
like lukewarm Tetley bitter and pickled egg football.

Viduka had a couple of half chances as Smith combined well with the Pie
man. Oh how we cried out for some width on the left. Matteo hid. I
watched him. Every time we got the ball he stood next to an Anderlecht
player so nobody would pass to him. The one time he did get forward his
cross was ballooned over by Lard arse. Hmmmm.

Anderlecht reached the half time break in relative comfort.

2nd half we hoped that another rousing team talk from O'Leary would
snap the Leeds players into life.

Vidooks dithered and scuffed his shot to the keeper, but not much else
happened. How disappointing. The crowd tried their best to lift it. They
chanted Viduka's name to give the luckless Aussie a boost.

Fair play to O'Leary he gave Kewell a good run at it. 35 minutes. Within
seconds he picked up the ball, advanced and smashed a 20 yard shot that
the keeper parried. Matteo could now observe the Harry-Kewell-left-
midfield-masterclass from the bench.

The game reached a but of a lull and only Kewell's persistent runs down
the left offered us any heart pounding moments.

Out of the blue the Belgians scored. A pocket of 1800 barmy fans went
potty.

The Belgians sang English football songs to try and impress us. "We
shall not be moved", "who the fck are Leeds United" etc. I for one
wasn't impressed. Bunch of Tetes de Merde as us Yorkies like to say.

Elland Road fell silent. For 5 minutes the crowd lost their inspiration.
Up til then they (we) had been brilliant. The sight of Mills ambling
down the right flank did little to raise our spirits. Bakke replaced
Ollie.

We needed a goal to lift the crowd, to lift the players and to give as
the momentum to go on and win this crucial game.

Leeds got a free kick 25 yards out. Thankfully Dacourt left it for
Hartey as the Frenchman's previous attempts had been to put it mildly -
une steaming pile de chien merde.

The Anderlecht keeper frantically waved to his "wall" to add a fourth
man to it. The "wall" stood about like Old ladies at a bus queue couning
out their 1ps for the bus that never comes. I dont think they'd ever
heard of Ian Harte. They have now.

A blistering low drive beat the keeper at his near post. It was our turn
to go potty.

"You're not singing any more" - we didnt bother translating it into
Flemish as the delight on our faces told the fancy chocolate munchers it
all.

Koller then missed his chance. What if ?

Leeds pressed for the winner. Kewell attempted to cross from all angles
- some impossible but it kept Anderlecht on the back foot.

Then it happened. The unthinkable. The tabloid headline writers licked
their lips..."Bowyer gets Leeds out of jail", "Bowyer sucker punch
knocks Belgians out", "Bowyer kicks Anderlecht in the bollocks"

The visitors defence under no pressure mis-kicked and allowed Smithy to
step in, quick as a flash the youngster fed Bowyer's forward run. The
keeper advanced, Bowyer pictured the celebration in his mind, and tucked
the ball into the net.

Bowyer punched the air, his face twisted in a tide of emotion. No this
wasn't CCTV evidence - this was Leeds 2 Anderlecht 1

I went mental. I assume the 35000 other Leeds fans did likewise.

Scores

Martyn 6 - looked hesitant but made a good save at the death

Mills 5 - for England ? is this a sick joke ?
Harte 7 - Fabulous goal

Radebe, Rio 7 - coped well in general with John Cleese and Monica
Radzinski.

Matteo 2 - pish
Bowyer 8 - how does he do it ?
Batty/Ollie 6.5 - Never stopped but didn't have it all their own way. We
lack a creative spark at times but these two keep it solid.

Viduka 6 - some good things, far too slow over 5 yards. The defence
nipped in before him far too often. WHAT IF he'd taken one of his many
half chances ? You're right ! - he'd be a GOD (again !)

Smith 6 - Typical Smiffy, did some nice touches and set up Bowyer for
the winner.

Subs/

Kewell 7 - More crosses that the Pope's front room wall.
Bakke 5 - didn't notice him to be honest. Looked tiny next to Koller !

Crowd 10 - we got what we deserved.

Woody resided on the bench. Oh the irony of it all.

--
stotty

www.astott.demon.co.uk

(LUFC match reports, cartoons, and Flash movies)