Leeds 1 Pompey 2

Poor Eddie. He simply has not got a clue. Matteo and Radebe in central midfield just doesn't work against quality players like Smertin and Quashie. They took the piss out of us. Our only hope was to either bypass the middle and lump it forward or give it to Milner and Pennant out wide. We did neither. Smithy battled hard and Simon Johnson tried his best but he's not good enough. We missed Viduka more than we could ever imagine.

The worst defence in the Premier League conceded an early goal by giving the excellent Stone acres of space to cross and Yakubu brushed Dubes out of the way and past Robbo. We never really looked like getting a goal unless it was from a set piece and Dubes fired over from close range.

2nd half Pompey killed us off with a second from Lua Lua Lua Lua - so good they named him 4 times. Shite defending again gave him a simple nod in.

Only in the last 15 mins did Leeds seem to try. Barmby added a bit of experience up top and things started to happen. Leeds got a penalty for a push and Harte slotted it in.

Pompey pooed themselves for 5 mins and Leeds had 2 great chances to equalise but that would have been a total injustice on Portsmouth who were a very good unit indeed. Quashie was oustanding and their back four were everything we weren't.

Robbo 6 - overrated
Kelly 4 - waste of time
Harte 4 - abysmal set pieces
Duberry 4 - donkey
Caldwell 4 - Scottish Donkey
Matteo 3 - fish out of central defence
Radebe 3 - oh my god ! Please dont make him play in the middle
Milner 3 - just not in it - why not play him central ??
Pennant 5 - did OK but hardly saw the ball - why not play him central ??
Smith 6 - went for everything but was out-muscled by Pompey
Johnson 4 - might be OK in Nationwide

Subs/
McFrail (HT for Matteo) 5 - put his foot on it which Dom cant do.
Barmby 7 - should have been on earlier as he looked good
Lennon 6 - lively, made a good run and cross

Leeds 1 Everton 1

Excellent display by Leeds apart from the first 20 mins when Everton ran us ragged. Gravesson, Rooney and Radzinski had too much pace and movement early on for us and it was no surprise when Fatty Rooney beat Fatty Robinson from 20 fat yards out (happens every week). Everton should have made it two but Fatty Duberry managed to distract Fatty Rooney with a cream bun and he missed a chance from 0.3 cm after the ball had hit the post.

Everton didn't get in our half after that. Radebe and Matteo bossed the midfield and Pennant took the micky big time out of Everton's defence. Milner also impressed and it was fitting he grabbed the equaliser just after the break - Nigel Martyn looking a bit fat and gettting down late to a trickling shot.

Smithy had a great chance to win it but Nige's Fat frame blocked out the sun and the ball and it ended 1-1. Leeds should have won but we have ridden our luck recently (Man City) and a draw was not too bad all in all. Good all round effort from the Lads.

Robinson 5/10- beaten again from distance

Kelly 5/10 - rubbish

Harte 6/10 - slightly better than rubbish

Caldwell - 6/10 - Settled after a shaky start and kepy Rooney quiet

Duberry - 7/10 - worked hard and battled well enough

Pennant - 8/10 good pace and great running - crossing was wank

Milner 7.5/10 - lively and grabbed a goal

Matteo 7.5/10 - bossed the middle

Radebe 7/10 - got better as the game went on - soem good tackles

Smith - 8/10 - worked as hard as anyone and deserved a goal

Viduka 7/10 - Good game but tired very badly in the last 20 mins

Subs - erm...Eddie is a bit like DOL - never bothers with subs.

1 greedy bastard....

Leeds 4 Wolves 1....

sorry no match report but I pissed my pants with excitement at seeing us not only score but WIN a game !

Robbo 5/10, Kelly 5, Domi 6, Matteo 8, Caldwell 7,Bakke 5, Johnson 7,Pennant 6,Milner8,Viduka9,Smith 9

Leeds United RIP....

Just who is this mystery Sheikh that will save his beloved club?

The end is upon us....

Why do Arsenal cheat and dive so much ?

Dom Matteo scored a f*cking brilliant goal ....

Staying Up...Staying Up...Staying Up....???

Going down....Going Down....Going Down....

Liverpool drugs horror shocker......

Dr Kewell is delighted by the results of his accelerated-ageing drugs on Michael Owen.

The New Season is here......

and what a piss poor summer its been so far.

Spot the greedy,lying, camp bastard ?

Hi possums, my name is Bernie Mandic. Even though i'm £2m big ones richer I've still got the shittest haircut this side of the moon. My god have you seen Harry's wife? What a dog ! I've seen better looking badger's arses - and I've seen a few of them I can tell you. Well you know what I say - "Honesty is always the best policy..."

Monday, 3 February, 2003 - Leeds' fans feared that the exodus of top names would prompt Kewell to jump ship.But his agent Bernie Mandic said: "Harry is not looking to move anywhere. "Harry still wants to stay at Leeds. He is having a very good season there so why would he want to leave?"

Tuesday, 11 March, 2003 - Harry Kewell is happy to stay at Leeds United, according to the player's agent. "The chairman told us three months ago that Harry was one of the players he definitely didn't want to see leave the club. And Harry said he didn't have a problem with staying."

Havent we heard about this Mandickhead before ?............

1999 - The Marko Viduka soap opera reached crescendo last night, with Celtic managing director Fergus McCann demanding that the player's agent, Bernie Mandic, be sacked by his employers, International Management Group. "If IMG have any self-respect for their company, then they should get rid of this guy. He is not helping Marko, IMG, or Celtic."

Stotty's LUFC 2003-04 preview

LEEDS UNITED
Last season: 15th

The season ahead: I think we'll finish 18th and get relegated. The warning signs are there. Our defence is poor, our midfield is slow and 1 dimensional and our attack lacks pace and depth. Apart from that....we'll be fine ! I think Peter Reid is a good manager but the players he has are at best woeful. Its a myth that Leeds have a good squad. The likes of Duberry, Harte, Kelly, Barmby, Wilcox, Okon, Bakke, McFrail are simply not good enough. I think Reid realises the problems now but were so skint the chances of us buying a raft of improvements are negligible. I still blame O'Leary and Ridsdale in equal amounts. DOL failed to get into the Euro Greed League two seasons on the spin having spent 187 Billion pounds. Ridsdale was too piss weak and stupid to hide the chequebook.

We must move on.

We need leadership and stability. OK so Professor McKenzie looks a right charlie and has been shafted in the transfer market by that greedy Oz bastard but I'm confident he'll keep a tight lid on the money jar.

But where did the professor come from ? Its simple maths.

Who'll be the stars? You having a laugh ? We have no good players left !? Smithy will run his balls off all season, get 4 goals and 5 red cards. Milner and Lennon are 2 lads who might make a break through but they are only 8 and 6 years old respectively.

Who'll be the boo-boy? Harte,Barmby,Duberry, Wilcox etc

Top Premiership hate figure? Lee "The Liar" Bowyer and Harry "My Wife is fucking ugly" Kewell

Who'll win the title? Man Utd unless they get injuries at the back or to RVN.

Who'll be relegated? Leeds, Wolves, Leicester.